“How are you?”
“How are you doing?”
“What is up?”
One little insignificant thing which triggers my anxiety is the initial phase of small talk.
I feel like I ought always to be equipped in a bold and splendid and widely comprehensible success story in order to justify taking up space in the world.
How is one supposed to answer such
a vague question if not by reciting an answer carefully crafted in advance, a self-validating highlight real, ready to defuse this shameful and largely self-perpetrated attack on one’s integrity.
It’s either that or the risk of looking lost and hazy. Nothing worse than looking hazy…
How am I?
How nice of you to ask. I have been feeling rather sensitive lately and therefore I’m finding your question rather unbearable. I would struggle to answer it even on a good day. My life simply continues in a healthy rhythm with a number of insignificant changes happening to it on a daily basis. If I was to mention any of them, it would not make much sense without mapping out a wider context. And I rather not do that to avoid the risk of appearing like there’s something I need to prove to you, or myself or the world...
I sound so resilient & confident right now! Am I sounding rude? I’m not sounding rude, am I?
How am I doing?
Most of the time I don’t know what I’m doing. How the hell am I supposed to know how I’m doing it?
I don’t even wanna go there.
And the worse of all What’s new?!?
What’s new!? What's new!? NOTHING IS FUCKING NEW!
Everything that happens to me is a consequence of a former action and decision, so when you think about it…nothing. is. fucking. new. Everything is old!
Hmmm... “What’s new?” It gives life somewhat commercial flavour, doesn’t it? Do we need new things to be constantly happening to us in life so we can keep up with the Joneses- new jobs, new friends, new lovers, new pets, new dreams, new passions and new sets of values and views. Who even are the Joneses and who made them a boss of everything?
That sounded a bit rude perhaps…I am feeling a bit sensitive…Apologies.
No but really, I’M FINE